Friendships

One of the biggest challenges that we face these days in our house is navigating through all the friendships.

Honestly I feel like its a full time job some days. Who is insulted ? Who is being left out? Who is leaving out? Who said what to who? Why she or he is not my friend any more!
Then you have best friends, BFF's, friendships that involve 3's (that's always a treat) , family friends, church friends, childhood friends.....I think you get my point....

Some days I am tempted to say NO FRIENDS.....hey you have each other, there are 4 of you that's more friends than most people have.....so be happy!! AHHH wouldn't that be grand....

Then I think of all the lessons I have learned and still seem to be learning through my friendships. Friendships have blessed my life ....challenged my emotional and spiritual growth. Friends have urged me out of my selfishness and stretched me beyond my original limits. Friends have allowed me to be me and also encouraged me to reach beyond myself and my self made limitations.

That being said I have felt pain and hurt in friendships also. Friendships that make you question WHY am I friends with this person? People who lean to much on you...require way more out of you than they are ever willing to give. Friends who only want to be friends with you SO they can be friends with someone you already have a relationship with. Friends that use you, belittle you, control your every move, and make you feel less than when you are with them or you don't fall in line with their plans.

These are the friends that when I see them heading for my kids I am like a Mama bear defending my cubs! Knowing all to well that as much as I try, they are all going to experience the sting of one of those "friends". Also knowing that after that relationship is over the sweetness of a pure friendship will make them aware of sourness that some put into our lives. Making them wiser in giving their time, heart, and loyalty so easily.

Honestly, I have had very true friends in my life. At almost 40 (shhhhh!) I am blessed to have a husband who is my best friend. Who carries the burden of hearing it all.....who has the spot of "forever friend" . Well as long as the Lord sees fit. I am truly blessed to have parents who I consider my friends also. Each of them holding a unique role in my life. It's a unique transition when you go from just child to child/friend with your parents. My prayer now is that I get to experience that with my own.
For a long period of my adult life I would say that, that is where my friendships ended. Oh I had those short bouts of being friendly with people. Friends through my marriage...or church....or kids. For the most part they were surface relationships and left me feeling unfulfilled. I can put it to you this way I was pretty poor in friends.....and now I feel about the richest girl in town!

I feel like God took his big friend shaker and seasoned my life !! As He sprinkled over my life He used not just one flavor but many unique ones! Some who add zest, some who add sweetness, and others that even at first taste may seem sour I have learned to acquire a taste for. My life is full of the spice of friends and I am truly grateful.

So as much as dealing with my kids friendships may challenge me at times how could I jip them of the richness that they bring into your life. So it may take them many years to find that one person they consider a true friend...the stepping stones along the way prepare you for the friend that person may need. Prepare them to listen more, judge less, to be truthful and kind....to think of others before yourself, to remember that your words do hurt...and once its said it can't be taken back. That being said they need to learn to be gracious in extending and accepting forgiveness. They need to learn to love....and put themselves last...

My command is this: love one another as I have loved you. Greater love as no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:12-13

I want to raise children who know the true gift and sacrifice of laying down your life for others.........friendships are a great training ground for that.