Something about a birthday !!

There is a birthday at our house today!! Steven turns 12 !!
Yes I do wonder where the time has gone !
Yes I do try to cherish each day !
Yes I do realize that I can't freeze time !
I also realize that I am quickly getting a house full of kids who I love to spend time with....talking....debating....laughing and yes sometimes even a few tears.
As one season of diapers and temper tantrums pass me by I am starting to embrace this new season! Now don't think I don't have my soft moments when I see a baby or even get to cuddle with one that I don't long for those tender moments. When all they needed and wanted was their mommy. Now I am in the running for many things that are vying for my kids attention. If I choose to look at life as a challenge .....this season is just going to make me more on my game. Pulling a lollipop out of my purse isn't going to be the highlight of my kids day anymore. Investing some time at the end of a long day, when quite frankly all I want to do is hide away with a book, put me aside to discuss today's heart ache or social dilemma. That is the lollipop my kids are looking now....ME.....and honestly its more work!
Yes sleepless nights were exhausting....temper tantrums were unnerving......bottles, little clothes to wash, dry and fold consumed many waking hours. Honestly most of these things I could do on auto-pilot. Not so for the stage we are in now! There is no pacifier for a hurting heart or a confusing friendship. There is no WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOUR PRE-TEEN ???.......no warning for the change in emotions from high to low and then back again. OK so sometimes there are warnings but its not like an your face dirty diaper ....so if you are not taking the time you miss it. Then like the V8 commercial you slap yourself upside the head and make a promise to stay more in tune next time.
So as another one of my babies ( what they will always be) edges closer to teenhood I guess I have a choice.....its that fork in the road moment......boo-hoo over what use to be.....those sweet mommy and baby moments or look forward to all the moments ahead of us. The moments that I help them navigate through the challenges and triumphs. The moments that we refine each other spiritually ! As I sit here and glance over at the birthday boy busy doing his school work.....I am amazed how much he looks like his dad.....I still see little boy....but I see the making of a man. I sit here and realize 12 years from now it won't really matter much what kind of bottle I used to feed him or what kind educational toys he played with.....but what I invest from here on out will matter the most! What words of wisdom I try to impart to him. Showing him where to invest his heart, his time, his resources. Telling him the truth even when it doesn't make me very popular to his friends or to him. Being there for him even when its very late or very early and it was not on my to-do list :-) Helping him stick to his commitments even when it means the sacrifice is more on MY part than on his.
You know that song The best is yet to come.....one of those older singers sang it.....well I think that's how I am starting to look at my parenting journey. I refuse to sit around mourning the loss of my "totally dependent on me kids". Instead I am rejoicing in my developing, independent, and at times daunting children. They are challenging me out of the complacency and catapulting me into spiritual boot camp. I don't want to be out of shape for the next leg of the journey that lays ahead of us. Its like having a twinkie on the 20th mile of a marathon. In order for me to pour out good things into my kids lives I need to be making sure that I am getting filled with only the best !!

Happy Birthday Steven .....I love being your mom! I anticipate the years ahead will be filled with laughter and joy.....just like the first 12 have!